Saturday, November 29, 2014

a Message to My Friends of My Rivals.





i said many times i'm not a perfect man.
but i don't like drama. let alone be the reason for it. 

i'm man enough to squash a rivalry or a hatred with an individual if an invitation is made. i admit it. I've done it before. if a certain person didn't do that dirty to me enough to make me bitter on them i will admit to not speaking ill will on ANYONE who i fell off with. doesn't matter. but DON'T expect me to beg for reconciliation. i will not BOW or Bend my knees to them for the friendship to be rekindled. If i'm done with the bullshit and if we can squash it i'll be man enough to squash it.
but otherwise i'm not begging. cause I've been humiliated already enough.and i'm man enough to end drama that maybe irrelevant. 
so to all my friends who are friends with the people who i fell out of alliances with sees this. tell them. let them know i'm making the move and willing to talk and reason. cause i said before i don't like conflicts.
and i'll be damn if i die tomorrow i don't end the conflicts i have of my own.
*jurai or die*

Monday, November 10, 2014

Done with the Fakeness.



The truth is everyone who says they understands you doesn't understand. they will be no different than the people who hate you. They will eventually leave you and make you feel horrible for it..that's why I regret being social sometimes. because you can be depressed like others, you can have anxiety, you can even have the same mental conditions as someone else, but there will be moments where you sadly have to realize they get tired and annoyed of even YOUR antics. it's happened to me now more than I realize, and it's because of things I've said or things I've done. choices I've made or decisions I've regretted. that's why at the end of the day I will have to face the music and go back to where I started. being antisocial. it was peaceful and yet it was never this much a emotional stress point. I don't even want to consider myself a "family" member of fan bases anymore because everyone else in them are ether judgmental or treat you like shit regardless. I've been a quiet loyal fan without people stabbing me in the back and I should have been that way earlier on. because it's been the fact that no fucking person judged me. It's bad enough the people I still reach out to still have ties to the people who have left me for shit. so fuck this life. It's not even the people who live in this state with me. It's people all over the world who have done this to me. The day I leave this city I start fresh. If you really want to prove you give a shit is the moment you will have to work to prove it. or at least prove it in general. I'm tired of people leaving me because I'm that annoying. you knew this would coming the moment you got to know me. I'm a annoying fuck. always will be. This is what makes me autistic and different. If you can't handle my antics yet you don't want to change on that then get the fuck away from me. you say you want people to accept who you are as is, yet you didn't accept me for who I am. As is. and the moment that happens and you leave me is the moment you're a piece of hypocritical bullshit with everyone else. This is why I will focus on me. No one else. You give a shit about me? shut the fuck up up and prove it with your actions. you know I do if it was on my end.

I'm Done Ranting. 
Fuck People.
*~jurai or die~*

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