Monday, August 31, 2015

Well Well Well, look who came crawling back...

Yeah, i know. im here again.
so what has happend since i loast posted here?

Well first i moved to Arizona.
Started my photography skills.
Still dealing with rejection of women.

still dealing with my moms' health. which is why i may not be staying for long here.
the worse part is i know i only am friends with a few models due to the fact of my work ethic.
why does it sttill hurt?
i had the worse rejection ever when i went all the way on a hour train ride to downtown phoenix to meet a girl i was madly interested in, only to see her and her rejecting me for a guy who is her interest in the case of what he looks like.
and yet i gotten abit stronger in my case for dealing with the rejection.
less crying.
more silence.
and anger in some cases.
I don't know how or why. when i haven't even done anything to make this feel wierd.
hell some women i at least know i don't have a shot with, so im glad of being friends with them, but a few gems i see who i hope were interested i guess didn't see anything in a guy like me.
whats worse is two photographers in the area both have done things with thier spouses who are models too, and yet i envy that.
i dunno really what to write but this because its kinda got me so down today. to know that not even in this state or city i don't think i have a chance in hell to have someone of my own to make happy. even when im successful in my craft.


can't catch a break.

i don't even know what else to say because i don't even think anyone reads this. and im sure they already assume im being perverted or something.


*Jurai or Die*

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