Had a Moment of breakdown today. Ended up Livestreaming the moment Since it reached a breaking point of Aggression and Pain. But enough is Enough. I've Upset My Best friend, to the point she is Keeping her distance from me, not to mention she is Dealing with Heartbreak herself from a breakup. And it feels like People are either assuming im asking for attention, or Im making this up. Ive cried so many nights i felt so much pain letting things go.
Monday.
Tuesday:
Wednesday,
Received Words of Encouragement from a Friend/Model who admires my work and Even Worked with me Once.
"Yesterday is over.
Learn from the lessons you came across but do not live in the negative moments on which you stumbled over. Always reflect but don't stay there or you will miss the amazing present in front of you.
Today is here.
What a beautiful gift indeed! A chance to grow and stay positive. Do not focus on the what ifs, could haves or should haves. Shine bright to light up hope for someone who may be alone crawling in the dark. Stay positive! You made it here! Look at you kicking ass and surviving! You have overcome so much already, DO NOT cut yourself down for being a fighter because you are a champion! Life is trying to talk to you. Listen.
Tomorrow is waiting for you.
Be excited because no matter what happens in the current moment, you can try again. Grab all the opportunities it has to offer because it is a new, undamaged, clean page which to write anything you want. The beautiful things you can write are endless! Keep your mind open more and your soul free!
You've got this!! 💜 I'm only a message away and I'm not the only one. We all love you Rai! Keep your head up so you can see. Don't walk with your head down anymore! Your feet will carry you without you staring down at them. Life, opportunity and happiness are front of you, not below you. Your friends and family walk beside you, not below you. Your missing the view staring at the past. Chin up! Shoulders back! Today is the first day of forever!!
Xoxo
Kristin Arlee"
(photo of Model/Friend mentioned, Photo taken By me)
I have to start implanting in my mind about the Fact i need to be more understanding of the deal in which i have to not feel upset with myself in carrying such burden, like the second video states, I'm not wrong for Being Hurt in overflowing, but I need to make sure my mind and soul stay more free, even if it means worrying about myself more than others at times. it's hard for me to be selfish even a little, because at one point in my life, i was TOO selfish. and i Promised myself i wouldn't go back to that again. i only hope i don't.
and as for my close friend? I Love her, and I only Hope her ordeal is healed and we can be back together like old times.
but the wait is painful enough. and I have to still be patient, whether I like it or not..
*Jurai Or....*
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